District of She Magazine

I'm still learning

A piece about self kindness by Abigail Welsby

I’m still learning.

I’m still learning to forgive myself.

I’m still learning that emptying myself means having to trust that I will be filled again

& that letting go of the old means trusting there will be new.

I’m learning that I’ve never been great with trusting.

I’m still learning to be gentle; with myself & others that are hurting & still learning as well.

I’m joyfully watching friends get married, have children & buy homes

& I’m still learning that it is necessary to brush my hair daily.

Recently, I’ve learned that I don’t like to be alone as much as I use to

& I’m still learning to leave my door open.

I’m still learning to accept defeat & let go of my favorite love but

I’ve learned that I am not weak.

I’ve learned that ignoring my health, denying my hopes & punishing myself are not definitions of “strong”.

I’ve learned to stop punishing myself.

What I know is that my creator does not lead me on just to leave me.

I know I have been made with a purpose.

I know that I feel & sometimes it’s crippling.

I know that I don’t have to carry this weight alone.

I know that I hesitate & I know that I tend to forget what’s important.

I know that I’m still growing. I know to be patient with my heart because I’m still learning.

Abigail Welsby is fine art and portrait photographer based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  

Who is inspired by enticing light & deep colors. Encouraged by the stories of others and hope to find a creative way to tell them.

Follow her Instagram: https://instagram.com/abigailwelsby/