District of She Magazine

But I lived

lived

I embarked on a journey I was never planning to take. Something that tested my will, broke my spirit and crushed my confidence. But this is not a sad story because you see the truth is I loved and I lived. Through it all, I lived ... I was far too young to love a man of his caliber.  I was eighteen and he twenty five so numerically our difference was slightly large to most but our lives seemed to be pulling us together. After all I was mature wasn't I? Everyone always told me I was so mature and so refined for a young woman of my age.  

There was something captivating in his age. His wisdom, intellect and to my youthful curiosity his experience with life. It consumed me. I've found that life altering love always comes at price though, a beckoning at the soul. It thrills, inspires and once removed leaves a gaping whole that either ignites you to deeply search for only love that is that encompassing or creates a bitterness within you. I learned a lot about love those two years, I also learned that age doesn't always equate to maturity and sometimes our "forever" love is only destined for a season.

But this is not a sad story because I loved fearlessly and I lived. That's really what it all sums up to with heartache isn't it? Being able to still live...

 

-Alice