District of She Magazine

Oh how the heart abides within...

Dear heart,

yes, you. The one seeking love. Your struggle hidden in the deepest gallows of who you are. You've cried out for someone to love you. Not just to love you now as you are but to love your past and all that you've done. Providing the certainty of loving you eternally and exceptionally.  But far too often it is within that deep desire to find love that we settle for less. We've promised ourselves to no longer love men who are guarded, emotionally unavailable and unready for love.

We've shouted from the mountain tops, with fervor in our voices and best friends beside us exclaiming that we will not allow any men into our bedrooms who do not first seek our emotional intimacy. We cursed those who've held our hearts with out acknowledging the frailty of them and swore to never again allow the offering of our love to those who do not know its value. We've chosen to not seek out lovers who need to be fixed or rescued. Standing firm on the foundation of partnership and accountability. 

Standing firm. And yet, it is in our striving to be loved, to be seen that we have more than once broken that vow. Broken the vow we made to ourselves out of fear. Fear of loneliness, social pressure, missed opportunity, settling and just fear its self.

Why after all the promising, all the protesting, we continue to fall prey to the uncertainty of the lack of partnership? Because deep within the inner foldings of our dear heart lies the yearning to be seen. A desire that fuels many moments of rationalizing away our acceptance of love unrequited, love out of obligation and love that may even be damaging.

But as we take on this season of life, as we allow it grow us and shape us. Let's look towards a rekindling of the love once held within our self, for our self. Not one that is selfish and single minded but one that is aware of our hearts needs. Compliant with the acceptance of its yearnings, and knowledgeable of its worth. A love rooted in creating a wellspring of patience towards ourselves, a thirst to water the passions planted within in us.

Dear heart, yes you. The one seeking love, avert your eyes inward and extend it within yourself. Abide...

 


Written by: Amanda Grieve

Photographed by: Abigail Welsby